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College? Oh, it was fun. I had the kind of good times where trouble was practically my sidekick. My dad still jokes that when I called home, he didn’t start with How’s it going? but instead, What did you do? (I’ll save those stories for another day.)
Back then, if you’d asked me what my values were, I’d have said fun and parties, with a healthy sprinkle of “What happens tonight, stays tonight.” But, oh how times change. Today, my values look a lot different. Don’t get me wrong—I still love fun and parties, but now that revolves more around a cheese board and being home by nine.
Values shape how we live, the decisions we make, and how we show up for ourselves and others. They help us filter through the noise and focus on what truly matters.
According to Psychology Today, values inspire us. Psychologists Barb Markway and Celia Ampel define values as "the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity" (The Self-Confidence Workbook). Values can be learned, and they can shift depending on the season of life you're in.
Why Do Values Matter?
They guide your decisions—helping you say YES or absolutely NOT. Or, in the wise words of Phoebe Buffay, “Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”
They shape your circles—aligning you with the right people and communities. Sometimes that means letting go as seasons change, which can be hard.
They create “balance”—and I say “balance” loosely because, let’s be real, it’s kind of a joke. But having clear values gives you direction—keeping you grounded while still growing.
They prevent burnout—refer back to point one. Seriously
They help you serve—so you show up with intention, not just obligation.
Defining Your Values
If you've never taken inventory of your values, now is the time. Consider these questions.
What moments in your life have sparked passion? Pay attention to what truly lights you up.
What drains you? Sometimes the best way to find your values is by recognizing what they are not.
What mindset do you want to mirror? Think about people you admire. What qualities in them resonate with you? This isn’t about who you want to be—it’s about who you are. A mirror should reflect you, not someone else.
What are your 3-5 core values? You don’t need a long list—just a few key principles that shape your decisions and direction. Start by picking 10, then narrow it down to 3-5. Need help, here is a starting place to find some value words. Click here.
How do values look in action?
Living values isn’t just a concept, it’s how you show up. Faith, Family, Growth, and Creativity, these core values guide me in every room I enter. There are also other values high on my list too like serving and simplicity.
Faith: My faith may not always be loud, but it’s lived authentically, quietly empowering and inspiring others. One way I carry my faith with me is by wearing a cuff bracelet with three crosses—simple, subtle, yet powerful. When people notice, it’s a reminder that living out your values doesn’t require a loud declaration. I’m very active in my church because I truly believe I am the church. I volunteer with the Youth, Young Adults, and Women, finding ways to serve and connect with others while living out my faith. The journey I am on is not my own and I try to live that out with God's grace.
Family: I carry this same intentionality into my role as a mom, empowering my girls to grow and thrive. In this season of life, it means working part-time so I can pick my girls up from school and be their personal Uber. It’s about being available to them, listening to their stories, and showing up when they need me most. And let's not forget about the husband. One day these girls will grow up, and it’ll just be us, so nurturing that relationship is just as important. I make sure we invest in each other now, so we’re strong when the kids are grown.
Growth: I believe in embracing every lesson, even in the tough moments. I strive to learn from everyone I meet, even if it’s learning what not to do. Growth isn’t always easy, but it’s always valuable. Every experience, every conversation, and even every challenge is an opportunity to become a better version of myself—more resilient, more patient, and more open to what life has to offer.
Creativity: Without creativity, life would be boring. It’s the spark that keeps me excited—whether it’s through art, design, or problem-solving. Creating energizes me, and I choose creativity over consumption every day.
Values are your foundation. They influence your choices, your relationships, and how you navigate life’s ups and downs. And while they may shift over time, staying connected to what truly matters will always keep you moving in the right direction.
And remember values aren’t just words; they show up in how you live. If you don’t live them out, they’re just nice ideas.
So, what are your values? Have you ever taken the time to define them? Drop them in the comments or connect with me on Instagram.
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